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The Souvenir Album Vol. 1

by Tony Billings

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1.
Fire 04:32
the very last kiss is the one you forget as you lie all alone in the dark in a sweat was it you in my mind? were you there from the start? what I thought was the fire was it only the spark? were you there in my head, was it just mindless fun when you said it was my idea that we should come? were you there in my heart? were you still my desire? what I thought was the spark was it really the fire? so I’m biding my time and I’m wasting my chance. was this all just a crazy excuse for romance? am I still in your thoughts? am I still in your heart? once we started the fire did we still have the spark? The very last kiss is the one you forget when it’s all in the past choking down the regret. did you ever once doubt? would you call me a liar? you might quench the spark, but you never can put out the fire
2.
Ordinary Day 04:41
This story has no ending, it’s just words without a meaning I don’t even really know where it begins. The truth is in here somewhere like a secret to unlock A tale of hate, a tale of joy, a tale of sins. Oh to live it again And so unfolds the mystery of our never written history. If my words make little sense, it’s no surprise. No language can translate the hopes and dreams we sewed that day A day of love, a day of hate, a day of lies. And when the Sun is up, she smiles. Sometimes. And when darkness falls, her fears arise, she needs someone to hold her close. It’s just an ordinary day another ordinary day, and now she falls down under the fear of losing the pain. She looks up into my face. I turn away. She offered no resistance as I looked into the distance. Simply turned away and would not meet my eye. I choose to not regret a single choice I’ve ever made, but when I look back on that day, I wonder why. It’s just an ordinary day, another ordinary day , She could be making a fool of you could be playing a game She could be taking a chance on you, could be making you sane. She could be taking a ride with you, could be calling the shots. She could be showing her hand to you, giving all she’s got. She looks up into my face. I turn away.
3.
I've seen the sun set over Laganas I've seen the Legion of the Dawn I've seen the Shadow Over Innsmouth I've seen a world since it was born. Nothing is happening, cos I've seen it all and I've done it all before Nothing is new within my world Where is that part of me that the spirit moves, is this what I really am? Nothing is new within my heart. I've seen the Lights of Zetar I've heard the piper call the tune I've seen the Houses of the Holy I've seen the Dark Side of the Moon Nothing is happening, cos I've seen it all and I've done it all before Nothing is new within my world Where is that part of me that the spirit moves, is this what I really am? Nothing is new within my heart. Reading a book by Brian Aldiss Or I'm watching a film with Michael Caine Suddenly something touches my heart A bright ray of sunshine through the rain But what is happening? I thought I'd seen it all, thought I'd done it all before something is new inside my world. Right here inside of me, where I never thought I would ever find a path Something is new inside my heart.
4.
And so it’s time to turn the final key to open up the treasure store, but it’s no good telling me it’s alright or we could make a million for you overnight. It’s a tough old world but don’t give up the fight for your life And so I face you on the final day, I see the tears well in your eyes, but it’s no good telling me it’s okay or you don’t believe a single word that I say take the time to realise you’re on your way to the World and if i hear you on the radio, would you sound just like an ordinary guy? would you say time was passing me by? would i believe you and break down and cry? and if i saw you on a tv show would you look just like any other man? would you still play from a weaker hand, or would the jokers fall as planned? And so I sit here as the years roll by misunderstanding, all you say, but it’s no good telling me I’m getting old because I don’t believe a single word that I’m told when you’ve come this far, you find the future and folds on itself.
5.
When I Close my eyes at night I can see your face again. When our season comes around we can walk through fields of rain. Rain in our faces as we walk through all our familiar places. Rain, rain in our faces when the summertime comes again. I’ve been hoping day and night just to look into your eyes. When our summer comes along, there's a love I just can’t hide. Hide in my memory all those summer days where I still can be in the world of my dreams with you So I’m waiting here my love just to feel your lips on mine. When the future starts for us and our star begins to shine, shine on our history as our lives unfold, and we both can be in the world of my dreams with you
6.
Princess 05:33
we met beneath november skies our love was just a dream you looked at me and smiled we were only seventeen. at our first kiss the day began and winter lost its sting our hearts were full, our love was young as we played through those early days of spring you were the princess of the holy hour the goddess of the free and i'd like to come and see you for a while all the world would know the way we felt it was always you and me and if i could see you now i'd like to hold you in my arms and make you smile. the warmth of love through all those nights began to take control. the passion of the springtime caught us we could not let go. the happiest summer i have known we laughed, we danced, we cried i wonder if we knew then you would be my only princess passing by 'cos you're the princess of the holy hour the goddess of the free and i'd like to come and see you for a while all the world would know the way we felt it was always you and me and if i could see you now i'd like to hold you in my arms and make you smile. the days were long, our love was strong and joy was all around these were the best of days the truth was you and me, love. but days grew cold, our love grew old as autumn took its toll and in the dead of night i heard you call my name the truth was you and i but not what we became and so we went our separate ways our love was in the past the poet tells a love like ours was never meant to last. that happiest summer i have known returns now to my mind i don't believe we realised then you'd be the only princess for all time. 'cos you're the princess of the holy hour the goddess of the free and i'd like to come and see you for a while all the world would know the way we felt it was always you and me and if i could see you now i'd like to hold you in my arms and make you smile. just .... for a while ...
7.
Strange Love 04:37
Your love isn’t what I’ve been searching for it isn’t you that I need, but the feeling is new Your heart isn’t what I’ve been dreaming of. I may have hurt you tonight, but my motives were true. I suppose I would’ve acted the same, would’ve still brought the pain if I lived it again But the last thing that I want to do is hurt you more Didn’t mean to go this far, but now I don’t know how to tell you that Your eyes are not the eyes in my thoughts at night. I love you for what you are, but it’s not what it seems And if I dream, I don’t believe you'd be part of me. I’m sorry now but I could not foresee how such a strange love could have tempted me.
8.
A New Song 02:41
this is the new day you were promised long ago it's here to stay open your eyes and feel the warmth. this is the new way you were shown before but now you have no choice release your fears and let your spirit fly so high in the knowledge of the truth let go and fly leave the world you know behind the day has come, the seed is sown. this is the new world, look and touch the things you never can deny open your mind and breathe the air. this is the answer you have waited for and now it's time to fly. unlock your feelings, let truth become your guide. sail the seas of earth. there is no time to hide, let the world just slip away the time has come, the seed is grown. this is my new song, let the words flow through you. listen with your mind. don't try to reason what i say. this is the path that you can follow if you choose, don't be so blind. forget these words now, believe in what you know.
9.
my precious one, she looks at me and hidden deep within those pretty baby-blue eyes i can see the truth she holds there in her heart locked deep inside - the pain that doesn't need to heal just to remind ... oh look into her eyes see through the pain to the soul inside this flesh won't last for ever but the soul inside will leave you never and now she's standing at my feet she smiles at me across the years across the oceams in between and i know this has always been before our eyes the hidden truths of the hidden words of the soul inside oh look into her eyes see through the pain to the soul inside this flesh won't last for ever but the soul inside will leave you never everywhere i see her face i feel her touch against my body every single day and so i'm taking up her hand to lead her home where she belongs here by my side my muse, my lover and my friend and we can feel the love thats burned into our hearts right from the start of time until the very end oh look into her eyes see through the pain to the soul inside this flesh won't last for ever but the soul inside will leave you never
10.
Breath 07:00
Half a life on this rocky road I can’t believe I’m coming home I see your eyes when I look into my mind Gazing down into your face. I’ll give you my leather. I’ll take your lace Gazing down at you. It’s everything I wanna do. Gazing down at you girl, you take my breath away. I look across the space that lies between us every day I see your face looking back at me I see your smile. I see your eyes see the hunger feel my hands Holding onto you. It’s everything I wanna do holding onto you girl, I’ll take your breath away. I’ll take you by the hand and lead you on a journey in your mind and when the day is done, I’ll lead you home again to my arms. Feel my hands upon you now as looking down, I wipe a tear away. I smile at you, and that feeling's there again and the hunger and the pain I see them there again, looking down into your face I’ll give you my leather I’ll take your lace

about

For some years, I've been meaning to get all my old songs newly recorded for posterity, and now, with fewer of those years left, I thought I should just get on with it.

I realised that I have quite a lot more songs laying around than I thought, so my intention is to record them in a few batches (I am of the generation where if an album didnt fit on one side of a C90 it was a damn annoying waste of tape at the end of each side of a C60 ... and if you don't know what that means .. well thats ok!).

This is bedroom pop, all done by me at home so i didnt have to actually talk to anyone.

This first volume clocks in at 44:52 and contains songs which I wrote in the 80's and the noughties, and sequenced with a nod to the way albums were constructed back in the day.

They are not all good songs, and I am far from a good musician, but it has always been my passion and I'm hoping some of you might enjoy some of them, I may release some new stuff in between the oldies at some point too, if time is on my side.

Thanks for listening, and if you enjoy any of this please leave me some comments.

credits

released August 1, 2023

all songs writen, performed, produced, recorded and mixed by tony billings.

mastered by robots.

Recorded during June-July 2023.

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about

Tony Billings Chelmsford, UK

old git that didnt have stuff like bandcamp around back in the day, so now i'm trying to put together new recordings of all the stuff ive written over the last 40 years or so

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